Written and reviewed by: Kyle Holly
If this is where you think I tell you all about how awesome Batman V Superman was, you are sadly mistaken. Don’t get me wrong, in DC Comics standards, this was a decent film, but in the realm of all comic book movies, this film was the most over-hyped flick of the year. If you haven’t seen the movie yet, don’t read past this line. SPOILERS AHEAD
First off, let’s go through the positives. For those who were shocked when Ben Affleck was casted as Bruce Wayne, know that he did very well, and indeed rocked the role. In my opinion he played a better, if not the best “Bruce Wayne” in all of the Batman franchise. BUT….his performance as “Batman” would come up short to Christian Bale. We got our first glimpse of Aquaman played by Jason Momoa, and it was pretty epic. We also saw the Flash, played by Ezra Miller, as well as Cyborg played by Ray Fisher. Finally we got to see Wonder Woman in action, played by Gal Gadot. She was beautiful. She was amazing. Not sure if she was amazing because she was beautiful, or because her soundtrack was so BA. Hans Zimmer is a beast when it comes to making movie scores. DC movies tend to have the best soundtracks for their movies. Finally, they stuck to the comics pretty well. Debuting Doomsday as the main villain, the only way to tell the story is to stick to the Death of Superman comic. As a matter of fact, if Superman didn’t die in the movie, I would have grabbed my popcorn and walked out. So good job DC.
Now for the negatives. Sit back, because this is going to be rough. Let’s first talk about how many times Hollywood must murder Bruce Wayne’s parents. Granted, it was the best visual representation of an inner-city mugging, but watching it over, and over, and OVER again is like forgetting that you have a papercut, and grabbing a hand full of hand sanitizer. It stings! Anyways, let’s mention the moment in the opening sequence where young Bruce Wayne fell into the pit, and the bats helped him levitate out. Yeah! That really happen! I couldn’t make that up. The sad part is that set the tone for the rest of the movie. The storyline resembled that of the cinnamon challenge. Very dry, and extremely hard to swallow. They literally tried to cram four different movies into one two and a half hour movie. This could have easily been just a stand-alone Batman movie, but instead, you got a new Batman adaptation, a Man of Steel sequel, a Justice League prequel, and then there is the random addition of Wonder Woman. Now let’s talk about Lex Luthor, or his son if you will. What was wrong with this guy? Seriously, what kind of drugs was he on? The better question is, how many drugs was he on. I’m pretty sure he was supposed to be some sort of comic relief, but ended up being the most annoying part of the movie. He would not sit down. He would not shut up. He was too savage with “Granny’s Peach Tea”. The Flash should have went to Lex Luthor Sr. in a dream instead of Bruce Wayne, to relay the message “wrap it before you tap it”. Next up is Doomsday. The CGI for Doomsday made him look like a moist turd with teeth, and he quite frankly didn’t need to be in this movie. Reminds me of Transformers Age of Extinction when they had Optimus Prime riding a T Rex, and everyone thought we were getting a Dinobots debut. The story ultimately resulted in Superman’s death, which is one thing they did right. My main gripe about this movie is that fact that it is called Batman V Superman, yet they only fight for 10 minutes. The other 2 hours was literally Batman doing Batman stuff, Superman wondering why the world hates him, Wonder Woman looking sexy (I’m a guy), Lex Luthor Jr. spazzing out, and holy crap, it’s Doomsday! THE END….
If I had to give this movie a rating on a scale of 1 to 10, I would give it a 5. Simply because it is better than Transformers: Age of Extinction. This movie would have been much better if the trailers didn’t give away the entire plot, making this movie so predictable. The storyline was already dry as day old unrefrigerated pizza crust. There was no reason to release Doomsday in the trailer, or in this movie at all. And Wonder Woman’s role was so small in the movie, that she had no legitimate point to even being in the film either. Lois Lane had a bigger screen presence than she did, and her performance was so basic. They had to keep her in the plot, so for the entire movie she chased after a freaking bullet. Also, we could have gone without Justice League Easter eggs blatantly being shoved down our throats. We get it! You’re trying to catch up to Marvel. They have the Avengers, Guardians of the Galaxy, The Inhumans, and The Defenders. DC has Batman, and Superman barely! Finally, Lex Luthor could have been more arrogant egotistical “Lex Luthor” and less Heath Ledger’s Joker from The Dark Knight.
What do you guys think of Batman V Superman?
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