If you are having relationship problems, or if you just need relationship advice. Have a seat, tell Doctor Love what you want to know about love or relationships.
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i need advise on how to connect with my girl..Plz help!
Sineon, The Doctor will see you now…
The Doctor is in and he will provide a prescription to help cure your heartaches
Awh poor simmi i hope u get help with that!!!!!
Sineon,
Just be sit somewhere alone with her and tell her how you truly feel and see if her feelings relate to your feelings. Ask her how she truly feels. Maybe everything would fall back into place.
Simeon,
Connecting with a young lady is not as hard as it seems. Yet, it takes a special skill that not a lot of young men have…The art of listening! Listening, in a relationship is not done with the ears, it’s done with the heart.
Ummmm… mista docta luv, uh I needs yo help cuz ma man (he not relllie ma man but we is talkin so he might as wel b) yea he is tawkin 2 dese otha females n i dont kno if i should punch him or them otha females. so culd u plezzze help mi????
*!nD3P3Nd3nt Ch!cK*
Dear Arugula or should I say “!nD3P3Nd3nt Ch!ck”,
I have read your comments and have prepared some advice. In one of your comments, you stated that you believe that you may need to, “fite sum 1”. It is hear that your answer has revealed itself. You need to fight the sum of one…Yourself! Listen, you said that your man, not really your man is talking to some other chicks and you’re not sure if you should be upset with him or them. Give this some thought; if he is not committed to you he is not your man. You must remember that you are the prize and if does not honor that then you carry yourself respectfully and classy until your champion comes. So fight, fight to see your true value and respect yourself enough to not settle for those who will not cherish it. Otherwise you will always be fighting for sum 1 that’s not yours!
Dr. Love
If a dude dont wanna be faithfull he is not worth your time. Every girl wants someone that will do things that no one will do.. Just wait till the right one comes your way!!
Arugula, violence wont solve anything. U cant make him be faithful.
Uhhhhh but idk wat else 2 do cuz i kno i is mo impotant den dem otha femalez soooo im gunna hav 2 fite sum1 if he keeps playin wit ma feelins
*!nD3P3Nd3nt Ch!cK*
I AM A PLAYY’AH not by choice but by past. now when your a playy’ah you talk to alot of people and sometimes these people be trying to catch feelings.NOW i dont want to be a playy’ah but i dont want to get rid of any of my works. WHAT DO I DO? #KIP
OMG not that you’re a “playy’ah”!
Mr. Saffron If u dont get rid of any of your works then u will naver find love!!!
Is that who you truley are?? A MISTA SO CALLED “PLAY’AH” You will always find the wrong girls that only wants you for one thing. =)
Ok Docter Love I need help with my relationship..
Well i dont really have good communication skills and i need to know how to communicate with my boo. Im more of a self person. Can you please help me.
Akyela,
Many times communication is complicated by our efforts to communicate. However, it is important to respond correctly, to insure that the right message is getting across. Sometimes we work so hard to make our point that we do not HEAR what the other person is saying. Communication can be both non-verbal and verbal. So, in order to become a great communicator, you must become a champion listener.
Dr. Love
akyla, all you have to do is just talk and be gentle dont hurt each other al the time .. love eachother for who you are
Yeah.. i know im trying my hardest to talk..
What do I do if I dont know what to believe. My friends are telling me one thing, and my ex is telling me another. Im not sure if he said those things about me….Should I ask him or just let it alone and never talk to him again???
How do you know if someone loves you?? Like you know you love them but not sure if they love you back!?!
Aalighia,
This is a great question. Many people think that love is a emotion. LOVE is really an action. Many people will say anything to get what they want, but you will only go that extra couple miles for something you love. You should be able to tell he loves you by the way he look into your eyes, respect your wishes, hold your hands, smiles when he sees you, and he will make sure every moment that you are with him you are enjoying it as much as he is.
Dr. Love
Dear Doctor Love,
Can you tell me how to heal a BROKEN heart?
sooo, who’s going to prom ??
Hey doctor love ….I need help,I’ve been talking to this girl for about3 years now and she has given me little signs of liking me till recently, but now she still isn’t available to do anything ,should I stick with it or leave?
Leaveee
but iiii actually love herrrrrrrr annd she loves me
Uhh, Arturo…first you said she shows little signs, now you say she loves you. which is it?
3 years is a long time to be just talking to someone, and to me it sounds like she either is stringing you along just so she can have somebody there that she knows likes her or she just doesn’t want anything serious. And you said she shows little signs of her liking you, she could just be being nice to you. Don’t ever mistake someone’s kindness, for something else. Mainly though, does she know how you feel? Like have you ever laid it out to her?
no i did not mistake her kindness. i laid out my feelings and she laid out hers…. eventually
ask her if she likes you and take her out on a date or something
Dear Arturo,
In the world of business people invest their money. over TIME that investment begins to mature and bring forth a return. One of the greatest mistakes young investors make is they pull out their money to soon. You have invested a lot of time in this relationship. it seems as if it is starting to mature for you… so why pull out now? If you care for her and she cares for you, keep investing in what you know. To change now, you run the risk of making a bad investment somewhere else. In other words, don’t look at the right now, look at the future of what it can be.
Dr. Love
Dear Dr. Love,
First, how do I approach a girl. Then after I talk to her, how do I know if she really likes me.
Dear Qualan,
I am not sure if you are asking the right question. First, you asked, “How do I approach a girl…” Is this a girl that you like? Is she a friend of yours or are you admiring her from a distance? But, I am not sure if you are just asking in general, I mean, you could be asking,” How do I get a girlfriend when I don’t have any prospects?” At the end of the day, this is what I would advise; be a friend. Don’t move to fast, you’ll chase them away. Get to know her, learn what makes her laugh, and then spend time making her smile. Know what makes her cry, and be there when she starts to get sad…and make her smile again. Do these things with only friendship in mind. If a relationship forms then you are in luck…If not, well you will have a lot of friends!
Dr. Love
whats a cute way to ask a girl to homecoming with me ..?
THE HUNT FOR MR. RIGHT
For most young ladies Mr. Right is any guy with tight abs and a cute face. If this is your conviction, this blog is not for you. However, if you are seeking for that one guy to whom you will find “True Love”; the ONE that will support you, protect you and inspire you to achieve great things… Then you will want to pay close attention to these blogs as we help you on your hunt for Mr. Right.
Part 1 Prince Charming
At a very early age many young girls begin their search for Mr. Right. It usually starts in their room while playing with their dolls. They are the mom, they have their kids (the dolls); they just need a husband to complete the fantasy. Sometimes, their maybe an unsuspecting little boy around that may play along for a while, but when the young girl can not get him to respond the way she imagines, she just assume to exclude the real boy and make up her own Prince Charming. The fairy tale begins. Her Prince Charming has the beautiful hair, muscular and says all the right things. He knows what she is thinking and agrees with everything she says. She can see him clearly; he may have the face of a movie star, and the attributes of her father and the money of a millionaire. As she grows, she never forgets her Prince Charming. The guys that she meets will never and can never treat her as well as her Prince Charming therefore, no guy have a chance to gain her love.
Prince Charming is not Mr. Right. The fairy tale, in fact, makes it very difficult to find your Mr. Right. The reality is, most real life situations are more like “Shrek”. So in order to get to Mr. Right, you must first give up your fantasy of Prince Charming….
To Be Continued
The Hunt For Mr. Right
Part II. Being Whole
When hunting for Mr. Right many women settle for Mr. Good Enough. Sometimes it’s that guy that gives you attention, or it can be the guy who is very cute and popular; but he does not treat you right. Let’s just get a few things out of the way…No man should hit a woman! In fact, no MAN would hit a woman, only cowards do that. Verbal abuse is abuse. This goes both ways, if your relationship is filled with fights and attacks, those are toxic relationships and you need to flee from them immediately.
Another important point is the myth of someone completing you. It is important to go into a relationship whole. This is a big one. Many people have tons of baggage or simply broken from previous relationship, even bad relationships stemming from their father. Having these types of issues and then trying to connect with someone is a recipe for destruction. It is important that you find yourself first, be complete, then you will be able to GIVE to your Mr. Right. By the way, to Love is to Give, when your broken you take. It’s sad, as much as your Mr. Right would pour into you, it will never be enough because it will just fall through your brokenness.
How to be whole? First, know your identity, who or what are you? This will come into play later. Have something to give. A helpful hint: Most men would love it if you gave them support. Be able to stand alone but flexible enough to lean. Forgive those who have hurt you in the past, otherwise they will ALWAYS have power over you. Have standards and respect for yourself, if you allow anything, you’ll get anything. Pray often and hard, God will keep you in perfect peace, those whose minds are stayed on Him. Most importantly, take pride in you. No matter your height, size or color, be beautiful! Now Mr. Right is Hunting after you!
Dr. Love
To Be Continued…
It’s actually a nice and useful piece of info. I’m satisfied that you simply shared this helpful information with us. Please keep us up to date like this. Thank you for sharing.
The Hunt For Mr. Right
Part II. Being Whole
When hunting for Mr. Right many women settle for Mr. Good Enough. Sometimes it’s that guy that gives you attention, or it can be the guy who is very cute and popular; but he does not treat you right. Let’s just get a few things out of the way…No man should hit a woman! In fact, no MAN would hit a woman, only cowards do that. Verbal abuse is abuse. This goes both ways, if your relationship is filled with fights and attacks, those are toxic relationships and you need to flee from them immediately.
Another important point is the myth of someone completing you. It is important to go into a relationship whole. This is a big one. Many people have tons of baggage or simply broken from previous relationship, even bad relationships stemming from their father. Having these types of issues and then trying to connect with someone is a recipe for destruction. It is important that you find yourself first, be complete, then you will be able to GIVE to your Mr. Right. By the way, to Love is to Give, when your broken you take. It’s sad, as much as your Mr. Right would pour into you, it will never be enough because it will just fall through your brokenness.
How to be whole? First, know your identity, who or what are you? This will come into play later. Have something to give. A helpful hint: Most men would love it if you gave them support. Be able to stand alone but flexible enough to lean. Forgive those who have hurt you in the past, otherwise they will ALWAYS have power over you. Have standards and respect for yourself, if you allow anything, you’ll get anything. Pray often and hard, God will keep you in perfect peace, those whose minds are stayed on Him. Most importantly, take pride in you. No matter your height, size or color, be beautiful! Now Mr. Right is Hunting after you!
Dr. Love
To Be Continued…
The Hunt For Mr. Right
Part III. Becoming the Hunted
A common mistake that many women make when looking for a companion is they become desperate lookers. In fact, the best idea is to not look at all, but to be the best YOU that you can be. It is said that, “When a man finds a wife, he finds a good thing”. There are two very important things to be discovered here. First, the MAN is the hunter. It is in his nature. This is the reason some women play hard to get; I do not recommend that game. Later we will discuss that but for now remember that a man is looking for a WIFE=” Worthy Intelligent Female 2 Endow”. The second part about that statement is that he will find a “Good Thing”. There may be a few of you that may be stuck on the idea of being called a “thing”, so I will address that first.
A males first encounter with a female is almost always with his mother. This is the most important relationship and will shape his future relationships. Then if he has a sister, a different bond is formed. It is much different then his care or love for his mother. He will form relationships with aunts, grandmothers, and teachers. All relationships could be good in the manner in which they are formed. But when he encounters a WIFE, it is a different relationship then he has ever had with a female. It is foreign and nothing in his data base can identify it. Therefore, it is described as a “thing”. Now, let’s get to the “Good”.
Earlier I said, “the best idea is to not look at all, but to be the best YOU that you can be. When you are pursing your dreams and defining who you are, many of the rif-raff are excluded. If you fly high with the eagles, you do not get entangled with weasels. I am simply saying, be confident in you and be someone worth pursuing. Remember you get to choose.
Finally, knowing how to encourage a man is a “Good Thing”. They get hurt and loose hope. Helping them to restore hope is a “Good Thing”. Being there for him is a “Good Thing”. Many times men try to accomplish great conquest, the most important thing is to have someone by his side. Now to be able to put it all together; to encourage a man that has lost hope and make him feel like he can conquer the world…Now that truly is a “GOOD THING”!
Dr. Love
To be Continued….
Dear Dr. Love,
Can you tell me, how do I keep my girl Happy and I remain happy at the same time?
From Miserable if I do, Miserable if I don’t
you have to find things you both enjoy doing. sometimes you cant do everything together tho. it seems healthy to a relationship to have a good amount of space at times. it is also good to communicate, that will help keep smiles all around
The Hunt For Mr. Right
Part IV. Your Mr Right may be closer than you think!
You may have heard it stated that beauty is only skin deep, or real beauty comes from within. And though it sounds like a cliche; it is still true. Many times the hunt for Mr. Right begins with the ideal description, “Tall Dark and Handsome”. Yet, what you find on the inside are shallow, self-absorbed individuals. All the while the short and stubby guy is studying ways to bring you joy. Yeah, he may not look like much, but he loves hard.
So hear is the description for Mr. Right. First, Mr. Right is not perfect! Sorry to be the barer of bad news, he will make mistakes and/or not the guy that will be on the cover of GQ magazine. Mr. Right has a natural desire to see you excel. He will spend his time to see to it that you do. He loves to see you happy, he will create moments to see you smile. Mr. Right gets his delight from you being fulfilled.
The question is, are you pushing away your Mr. Right?
To be continued…
The Hunt for Mr. Right
Part V. Mr. Right will Appear!
The goal that I had in this blog series was to get you to take your focus off of trying to find Mr. Right and work on becoming the best you. I am not sure if I was able to accomplish that so I am coming straight out and saying it. FOCUS on being whole. Pursue your gifts and talents. Work towards your vision and purpose. When you do, you fellowship with like minded individuals. You shine, and your Mr. Right will appear… Are You Ready?
Dr. Love
The END
Yes! Finally someone writes about good long distance relationship advice.
Dear Dr. Love,
Where do broken hearts go? Do they find their way back home?
For Men Only
Part I. The Seed of Love
In many relationships, a lot of men do not really understand their role or how important they are to the development of a community. Okay, I may have went too fast there, but allow me to explain. First, it is important to value, respect and honor your lady. Meaning, getting involved in a relationship for sex devalues the female and completely dishonors her. This type of behavior plants seeds of bitterness, resentment and anger. Those seeds grow and are very damaging to the female, future relationships and family (children). It spreads through each person very slowly, coming out in their behaviors. It is not until they can get to the very ROOT of the matter will they break free.
On the other hand, when you plant the seed of love, it brings delight, joy and a blossoming where she will display her beauty as a flower open to your rays. Men, we have the power to display a beautiful garden or a field of weeds!
To Be Continued…
Dr. Love
Doctor Love, I would like to introduce you to my concept called the “Vicious Cycle”.
”Good guys. Bad Guys. Good guys that turn into bad guys. Girls saying they’re done with all guys. Turning all them good guys into bad guys.”
It’s very hard to know where the root problem lies, whether it’s a woman who had her heart broken, and then became heartless, or a man who got played and then became, and then became a tool. Its hard to be a pure heart, because the hatred of the vicious cycle is like a poison in the community. Everyone has a past, everyone has a story.
What is the antidote to the poison? My personal opinion is just too simply look for the good in people. Don’t hold grudges. Don’t let your past dictate how you interact with those in the future..
http://www.facebook.com/coolkidsonly
Twitter: @malcolmeugene
Hello Malcolm,
Thanks for sharing your concept on the “Vicious Cycle”. It is easy to see how one can get caught in such a process. Yet, I like to point out that the first step to stop the cycle is to not get in it. It is important that we love no matter the circumstances. Sometimes we don’t like to put ourselves out their because we do not want to be hurt or mistreated. But to act in such a way means we really don’t understand love. True love gives without, and I repeat, without looking for anything in return. With that understanding, when you LOVE, you can not ever be taken advantage of because your doing it without conditions. You say look for the good in people, I say give the GOOD in you. If we all position ourselves to behave like that, we will break the “Vicious Cycle”.
Your Friend,
Dr. Love
For Men Only
Part II. What is a Man?
In many ways this question can be answered, but in many ways it MUST be answered. However, our focus is about relationships. Then again, to answer this question should unlock understanding of a man in a relationship. MAN; in his nature is to conquer. His stature represents power, and his desire to obtain it drives him. Yet, even to possess great riches and power, it affords him nothing but to lay it all at the feet of the one he loves. Imagine that, a man is willing to give up or share all he has for that true love. If he does not have the abundance of wealth and power but has found love, he will work tirelessly to place his daily spoils at her feet.
When he can not provide for her; he feels useless, defeated and unworthy. All the same, a man will return to his true nature as a conquer and overcome his insufficiency and find a way. So what is a MAN? A man is MORE than a conquer!
Dr. Love
To be continued….
This design is steller! You certainly know how to keep a reader amused.
Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!)
Fantastic job. I really loved what you had to say,
and more than that, how you presented it. Too cool!
Dear Dr. Love,
Why do your ex always get upset when you talk to someone else?
Dear Larry,
Most of the time the ex gets upset when you talk to someone because they have not fully moved on. So since they still have feelings for you emotions take over; such as sadness, anger; which usually stems from jealousy. In the mean time while your ex is in the process of moving on; make sure you dont lead your ex on, expecially if you have moved on. This could make matters worst. Still be yourself but make sure you are open and honest, so your ex doesn’t become an obstacle in your new relationship.
Dr. Love
they need to move on
Why is it so hard to get over someone you know is wrong for you. They arent to bad of a person but they did you wrong. I loved him then and I still do to this day. I cant get past the love I have for him but im almost certain we will never get back together…Im scared to move to another relationship because i dont want to love anyone else, and i want our opportunity to open back up..how long must i wait???
Dear Riana,
Thank you for your post. I believe many people can relate to your situation, your not alone in your feelings. With that, I think it is important to consider what is it about this person that drawls you to him. Because if you already know that he is BAD for you, then it is a matter of changing perspectives. I am willing to guess that you know that this guy is not the only guy on the planet that could make you feel this way. So, what quality does he have that makes you light up? Identify that quality and as you look for new relationships, look for them in your next companion. However, I must warn you to look at the quality only! Otherwise you will begin to compare the new person to this guy and that’s not fair. Also, I say it all the time, LOVE is not a feeling or emotion; it is a choice. Feeling and emotions are temporary and are determined by circumstances. Love, on the other-hand, should be in effect (by both parties) no matter the situation. LOVE GIVES. Read my blog on “The Hunt for Mr. Right, a five part series here on this blog.
Happy Hunting!
Dr. Love
I’m just tuning in
Welcome aboard
Why doesn’t anyone like me? like… im not ugly…
Dear hotchick46,
I am sure you are a very beautiful young lady. I am willing to bet that many guys are physically attracted to you. However, the world is FULL of “Hot Chicks”. If I were to guess, you may be the 46th person to name themselves a hotchick, therefore the name “HOTCHICK46”. Guys are looking for more then what could come across as a high maintenance female, “I am not saying that you are”, but your response is, “Why doesn’t anyone like me? like….im not ugly”. Everything will change for you when you are able to show people your beauty from within. That is the true beauty that your Mr. Right seeks for!
Dr. Love
Who said you wasn’t ugly???
Why does your girlfriend freak out so bad if you say hi to some girl who is just your friend??
Dear Pearson,
This is common for many girls to do. The issue is more on you. If you make your girl feel secure and leave no doubt that you would be faithful only to her, then she would not feel threatened by another female. Love her hard, and show her that she is the only one for you. Then if you simply say high to a friend, you cheating will be the last thing on her mind. Do her RIGHT, and the rest will follow.
Dear Dr. Love,
What gift do I get my girl? I don’t want to give that gift makes me look like im the wrong guy
Merry Christmas everyone! I just wanted to say that these past few years have been really tough for me due to a bad break up and during the holidays it’s even harder for me. If you are in this situation just cherish your time with your family! Love will come someday but family is forever. Don’t dwell on past relationships and waste time when your family is right in front of you. Enjoy the holidays! Keep your heads up!
Well put Kay!
Dr. Love
What is your view on this age old question?
Why are men afraid to commit?
What is a Man?
Part III
The Vulnerable ME
It is unspoken, not shared often, yet it is true nonetheless. Men are extremely vulnerable to true love. The heart of a man is his most valuable possession. It is also extremely fragile, and when its cracked, it hardens! Most men can tell you the date and the person that broke their heart for the first time that changed them forever. If it has not happen yet, then your younger than 16 and don’t get out much. But for those whom have felt the pain of the heart break, where it feels as if your heart has been ripped out of your chest, it is okay to truly open up to love again.
See ladies, when a man has been hurt, he is a shell of himself and it takes a special female to soften his heart to get him to open up again. To the ladies, that thinks it a game to purposely go around to hurt men, you are making it hard on every female that follows after you. The idea of, “I’m just doing to men what they do to us” is misguided. These types of ideas gives a distorted view of relationships and breeds the games problematic issues that we see today.
A real man wants to give his heart away, the problem is finding someone “strong enough” to carry it.
To be continued,
Dr. Love
I messed up a really good friendship. I let my feelings get in the way and I guess we aren’t in speaking terms. This person isn’t speaking to me so I don’t know what they’re feeling. How can I fix this mess ?
– A.
Dear -A
You said it was a friendship that you messed up. My first “heart” response is that if it is a friendship, then time will allow that mishap to fade and true friendship will shine through. That is if you are a true friend. See friendship is technically a relationship, just a different form. It is still important to lift up, encourage, be there for a friend. Even when they are upset, a true friend always has the others best interest at heart. So, I would say to you, just be a friend and all else will subside!
Yours Truly,
Dr Love
How do I nicely friendzone someone?
-A
How do I make my long distance relationship work?
Dear Marin,
I believe this question has many different parts. First, the problem with long distance relationships are no face to face time and connection by touch. If these two things are your love language, then long distance relationships are not for you. In fact, there will be more time arguing and fighting then truly enjoying one another. However, if you speak the language of gifts, being validated through words and romantic talk, then long distance relationships are perfect for you. Send your significant other hand written notes and drop them in the mail. Make nice gifts or buy them something that lets them know that you understand them. Call them, but not every five minutes. Use the email, text and skype to change it up a bit. If you do this, when you do see each other, well it will be like magic!
Dr. Love
Boys have cuties
Is there a such thing as love
When do you know its the right time to tell your significant other you love them?
How Do You Nicely Friend Zone Someone?
Dr. Pedro,
The best way to “put someone in the Friend Zone” is to be honest. Don’t try and play with their emotions or come up with some outrageous excuse. Tell them the truth and value the friendship. I believe this is a very important topic because we miss out on what could be a great friendship for life when we miss treat someone at this stage of connection. A platonic relationship needs to be valued!
Dr. Love
Dear Dr Love
My girl is always wanting to spend time together. I like to be with her but i like to hang out with my friends too. She things im rejecting her but im not. What yo do?
Signed,
Can’t Breathe
Dr. Love,
I have a boyfriend but I have a crush on a guy that I’m around a lot(me and this guy are very close, and he has a crush on me) when I’m with my boyfriend I sometimes wish it was my friend(the other guy). I love them both and dont want to hurt either one of them. What should I do??
Sincerely,
Needs Advice
What is sex
Something you will never have! 😉
Why is it that these “girls” aint loyal?
Dr. Love, I need HELP! Here lately my girl doesn’t trust me. Our relationship has hit the rocks. But I have not done anything wrong. I try to be there for her but i can’t seem to do any thing right. What to do.
Dr. Love,
What does it really mean to ” Make Love” to your women?… This is a serious question. You hear people say that all the time but they are only talking about SEX. Is there a difference?
Dr. Love,
Why haven’t you answered my question?
Dear Docter Love,
Why is it so difficult for women to accept being wrong sometimes? I’m a man, an I know that I’m not 100% right all of the time, but when I am right, I must succumb to her way, even though she is clearly, in literal definition, WRONG. Women are difficult, even more so than Calculus.
#GirlProblems
The Answer to this question appears in the September 2014 Issue! Check it out! Do you agree with Dr. Love? I know I do.
Dear Dr Love,
I saw my friend’s boyfriend talking to another girl. I want to tell her but I think she feels as if I am coming between them. Yet, I don’t want to see her get hurt. What to do?
From, stuck in the middle